“Hi, Marji! I just wanted to update you. It’s been 3 weeks since you dropped your advice into our lives and honestly everything has changed so much. No more horrific days of her just screaming at me all day. I’ve put in so much more effort to connect, be child led. She still gets tired and says, ‘I hate you,’ and I say, ‘Thank you for sharing your feelings with me, can I do anything?’ And 9 out of 10 times, she runs to me with a hug and says, ‘Sorry Mummy, I’m tired/sad/angry’ or she says her tummy is hangry. I feel like the dynamic has changed so much.

“I’ve written my own new story, I’m working really hard on it every day, and of course still making mistakes but I’m working on my own triggers massively.

“We went out for a picnic lunch today in the dandelion fields and went for a long walk, she got tired and threw herself on the ground, I sat next to her and she shouted, ‘Go away!’ I picked her a dandelion and said, ‘This flower is beautiful…just like your feelings,’ and she climbed into my lap and said, ‘Don’t go away! Please carry my hurt legs home!’ And I had a little cry while she sat on my shoulders it was a beautiful moment.

“So thank you. So much. From the bottom of my heart.”

“I’ve known Marji for many years and have always admired her ability to get to the nitty-gritty of issues that concern...parenting so that the entire family—including the extended family—can be wonderfully served. With her holistic and compassionate perspective, she has assisted us in understanding more fully life’s seeming complexities with our older teenagers, and she has been able to help us to help ourselves and our sons to transition through our lives in a more wholesome, and healthy way, primarily through helping one find what they need within themselves.

”Marji is one of the most compassionate people I know and, coupled with her intuition, is uniquely suited to assist families in times of ultimately wonderful shifts.”

“Marji continues to be a source of inspiration in our coaching calls. When I think my tank is running on empty and am feeling fearful of moving in the direction of my dreams, we focus on that and suddenly the road seems not only clearer but joyful!

“Marji is inspirational, compassionate, gentle, and loving while holding an assurance and capacity within herself to guide others toward their goals.

“I highly recommend coaching with Marji. She’s a gem.”

“Thank you, very much. You gave me a very valuable communication/ relationship tool. I am so grateful!”

“Marji Zintz is a wonderful life coach. She is spiritual, insightful, and gentle in her approach. I found myself having several “a ha” moments as she coached me. With her guidance and wisdom (not to mention her soft-spoken ways), I was able to relax and break through blocks that were keeping me from the very things I desired in my life. I would recommend Marji as a life coach to anyone experiencing some confusion or conflict in their lives.

”Marji, ‘peaceful’ is certainly the right name for your practice. You ARE the Peaceful Parent Whisperer. Thanks for whispering your wisdom to me.”

“Marji helps parents identify their goals, and create a plan for getting there by partnering with them. She listens beautifully, asks questions, gives her impressions, offers stories in a very open and respectful way, and brainstorms along with you. What a gentle, insightful, and wise woman she is! Marji looks below the surface and speaks with kindness and a very fine awareness of where the person is in their journey. I want to recommend her to anyone who is feeling the need for support, ideas, and help seeing the interconnection of events in their lives. I spoke with Marji on the phone and it was as though she were there with me.”

“You have changed my life!”

“I’ve been doing monthly coaching sessions by phone for over a year with Marji, The Peaceful Parent Whisperer. With her support, I’ve been transforming my relationship with cleaning; she’s definitely not limited to parenting, but she offers so much in that arena, too. She’s wildly compassionate and directly helpful, and I always feel energized and expansive after talking with her...

I highly recommend her as an incredible resource for probably anything ... Working with her could be another path of wellness to being the parent you want to be. I know it has for me. ”

“Thank you for your guidance and compassion, Marji. I loved the courses and will continue to work on them for my daughters and other relationships in my life. ”

“Not parenting-related, but I have had four sessions with Marji so far to work on my need to rent out a summer cottage. I knew some steps I needed to take but was procrastinating. With her guidance, I have identified clearly what I need to do and have been taking actions consistently. Her gentle, nurturing way of encouraging is very useful to me. She is an insightful, supportive person, and I am very grateful for her help! (Note from Marji: Judy went on to fully book her cottage for the summer, yielding a large profit instead of the loss she anticipated, enabling her to keep the home rather than sell it!)”

“I am blown away…I am so very grateful for you and the way in which you frame the universal feelings that I think so many of us have and don’t know how to really process or contextualize. ”

“I so appreciate you, Marji. Your wisdom has helped me more than I can say. Thank you for being a voice we need!”

“Your input is so valuable and has helped me so much!”

“I’m glad you’re doing what you’re doing, because there’s such a need for people like you. I mean, there are so many people like me who want to effect positive change in their families, but there are so few people who…can help us get there. Just know that I think you are amazing and you are right at the center of where you should be. You...have so much insight and gifting in this area. You are just one of those people who are living your purpose, and I really admire that.”

“Your tools are truly life changing for me. You really have a gift. Thank you for listening. ”

“Tonight, my daughter came in highly emotional and expressing a whole bunch of stuff I usually find impossible to listen to, after she and her brother got into a conflict. I disagreed with almost everything she was expressing. So much of it rage and accusations against her brother.

When she began, I actually gritted my teeth and at one point even sunk my face into my hands with my fingers pressed into my face (fortunately, she needed the release so badly that that didn’t stop her!). I wanted to empathise, but it was completely impossible for me .. so I stopped myself from saying anything at all.

Slowly, I began to remember what I’ve been learning recently, in the midst of my reaction to her. I focused on her. I breathed deeply. I listened attentively, but silently. As I calmed down, was able to make minimal prompts as she raged on.

And I watched her absolutely enthralled as she burnt her anger out and felt so good she was just being heard. She didn’t even need me to show her she was being heard by me paraphrasing or empathising.

As it burnt out, she reflected that she had a lot of built up anger that she was needing to release right now. And she raged on to my attentive listening. During some of her pauses mid-rage, I just said ‘I’m still with you,’ and she’d carry on for a while. After she slowed down and paused for a longer time, I’d ask if there was any more until there was no more.

When she was finished, I asked if she’d like a cuddle. I’d actively noticed wanting to do that much sooner and recognized my own need to stop her. At the point I eventually offered it, she was ready. she smiled, stopping herself from laughing as she came over and I just held her and stroke her back silently. She stayed with me for a long time like that.

Then she crossed the room back to where she had been when she was raging .. and went quiet. Then she said softly that the crying was ready to come out now and began sobbing. I just let her know I was still with her.

Eventually, that stopped too .. and she just went on to other things. Thoughts, chatting, questions about random things. She also said, ‘Well, that’s all the old hurt that’s ready to come out today, maybe a quarter of it.’

She looked so much lighter. And I feel really good about it!

I realised as all this was going on that, if it was my partner needing me to be present and in active listening, I would readily do so for as long as it it took, and he already does the same for me .. even if I need ages to express myself in pretty much the same ways.

But I haven’t been able to do the same for my daughter because it triggers me so much when she’s in that state. I’m so glad to have been able to move out of reactivity and into a space where I can help her heal her emotions by fully expressing them instead. She’s been really angry and aggressive, specially towards her brother, today and unable to let me in, but right now I can see she’s a new child. She’s beaming and smiling and generous to her brother. It’s wonderful to experience.”

“Here’s a perfect situation where I think I did good:

”E asked me to call the counselor up because G keeps saying he can take the test at school for his community college. That was not my understanding, but I said, “OK, I’ll call.” So I called…the counselor said, no, actually there were dates where he could have taken the test, but he never signed up for it, and now he has to go to the campus and do it.

”So, I took a chance and (in a text message) said, ‘Oh, by the way, I talked to Mrs J, and she said...’

He texts me a one-word answer: ‘Bull.’

”I’m like, okay...here we go with the anger again. So I’m at this crossroads, but I like the way it feels not to get into an argument, so I’m going back in my mind, going, how do I handle this now?

”And, then I wrote back, ‘OK.’ And then, he said, ‘Kids are going to the F. Center, right off school property, and they’re doing it!’ I could hear the yelling in the texting, and I said, ‘Yes, honey, absolutely right, but Mrs. J. thought you missed the dates.’ And, he wrote back, ‘Oh.’

”So, the first thing I realized about G is he doesn’t like to be wrong. So, making it milder, diffusing it by saying, ‘You were right in assuming that; however, these are the facts.’

”And, then it went on; he was getting a little perturbed, so I said, ‘No worries. Remember, you can always go to the campus to do the test.’ And, then he wrote back, ‘That’s true.’

”This is not a child [who has been] reasonable. What a lesson! And, I’m not here to say I’m gonna always do it right, but I know now how to do it right, I think.”


[This was a big “win” for D, who had been feeling troubled and despondent about the lack of a meaningful relationship with her son. She is gaining some more tools and perspective in her parenting toolkit and has been delighted with some of the changes they were experiencing!]

UPDATE: She wrote to me very recently, and said this: “I just wanted you to know that I think we’ve turned the corner with G. He’s been stepping up and having less and less outbursts. We’ve had quite a few texting ‘heart to hearts’ and I think we actually like each other now. LOL...Your advice and guidance have been in the background like a soft angel whispering kind words as we work though this.

Thank you so much,
Diane ”